3rd blog, and since 3 is the magic number, time for something kinky.
A recent exploit has made me conspire to try and describe what should be expected from a dom/me (domme for female, dom for male(short for dominant), for all you vanilla-types(vanilla: ignorant to the joys of BDSM and kink)) and what those dom/me's should expect from their subs(submissive's, unisex term), and some things that are variable.
There may be a lot of brackets in this blog....
But before i carry on, i must point out that in the realm of BDSM, everything, even though it may seem odd to any normal public, it is, or should be, completely consensual, the submissives have willingly relinquished their will to a dominant, and a dominant should be aware of this at all times, as there are times when a dominant restricts use of methods of communication, through use of gags, restraints, etc. but what is always decided before any session is a safe-word or safe-action, which, when a dominant sees this, should stop all BDSM play altogether and stop any further play until the submissive has given an all-clear and a clean bill of health.
Anyway, what to expect from a sub: subs are expected to do anything a dom/me asks, but can of course disobey, at which point a dominant is privy to making sure the sub knows better than to do that next time, often with a variety of punishments such as spanking, or denial of pleasure, or generally any kind of consensual pain-play (most websites try not to use terms such as torture as it can me miscontrued as an unwilful act upon the submissive).
Submissives are also expected to not do anything until a dominant has told them to, of course, up for... interpretation by dominants, as some like their subs to busy themselves until the dominant is ready for them, with tasks such as cleaning, or even in some cases, helping other submissives "suit up" as most like to wear outfits (or at the very least, collar's which demonstrate ownership by a dominant, along the same lines as a pet, and some submissives like to never take their collars off except for cleaning).
And finally, subs must'nt pleasure themselves without permission, and even when they do, must have express permission from their dominant, but of course, there is always time for punishment, as goes with all these rules, and some dominants like to create for themselves a "forgetful" or even "hypocritical" persona, so that they can punish their subs even when they were being good, as some believe a perfect sub is boring.
Finally onto the dominants.
Personally, i believe the biggest problem for dominants is responsibility, as when something goes wrong, its their fault, so there can indeed be some stress involved in being a dominant, as while playing, it is always vitally important for safety to be taken into account, while still allowing enough activity to make the experience enjoyable.
Another thing a dominant has to keep in mind is what the submissive wants in the first place; as the responsibility of having to decide upon all the submissives choices for them, requires that the act of submission itself requires a reward of the submissives wishes beforehand, to ensure, again, an enjoyable experience, examples of simple wishes include being restrained itself, pleasure with pain at the same time, having intimate areas violated in some way or another, or even just use of specific toys, or denial of pleasure up until a point.
And the last thing a dominant needs to keep in mind, is consistancy. even if the consistancy consists of inconsistancy, as long as its the same kind of consistancy.
P.S. update on naughty bear: nothing is any better than it was...
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